No Rest For The Wicked

He stepped into the hot water. His body almost soaked in blood from the day’s unending battles. His once proud ivory wings are now just but fragments of what they used to be. The burnt skin, the scars, the ugliness of his physique was a testament, of the commitment he had made to those whose lives hang in the balance.

The hot water was soothing. For a moment, he closed his eyes, trying to forget the pain within, with the seething heat offered by the water. His thoughts roamed, they wandered into the void within him. Blessed nothingness. The water trickled down his spine, down his broken wings offering some respite to the weary body. It has been a long time since he felt anything good.

The war is not yet over, but the outcome has been predicted long before. And no matter what the others do, for him it will all eventually be over. And as he has envisioned since the start of the war, he will eventually evolve into something new. The inviting water from the hot springs, the greenish lush surrounding him momentarily interrupted his train of thoughts. He dipped his head into the water.

As he held his face diving in, he once again felt the scars. The scars of the battles that had been almost an onslaught at the start. Three long years of aggression was not really what he wanted. But the fates have decided on him, via a series of unfortunate events. And in the solace underwater, he opened his mouth unleashing a sound no man under his command should ever hear. It was a swan song, a howl of a dying dog roared with a dignity of a lion, albeit a dying one. It was pain, unbearable, unceasing pain. A tormented soul’s lament over what there was and what there is.

He gets his head out of the water. He gazed into the stars that watched him that night. He stared at them nonchalantly, for they have witnessed what should have never been seen. His cry to the fates, his wail to the heavens. He was calculating whether he should pray that night. For in his eyes, God never really favored him. But in a rare act of piety, he bowed his head, and uttered a very simple prayer. “Why?” he gasped with all honesty. God had never answered him before, nor will he probably ever. But he does not question his God, he believes. But being human, even though he has been granted wings, it is his nature to ask.

As he stands up from the water, he exhaled everything there was in him. Hoping it can take the pain and the weariness of his spirit. He puts on his armor, sheaths his tarnished sword into the scabbard, the seraphims have given him. He grabs his helmet, sets it on, making sure that the sun-gold hair is properly tucked in. Tomorrow will be another day for a bloody fight. Whether he will live to see it end or not, his resolve remains unwaivering. And though recently he has been dragging his fatigued legs into the battlefield, he tries to carry on. Steadfastly, patiently.

Yes there is no rest for the wicked. For they are the only ones who know what a real fight is, and how it can be fought to win. He looks up, makes the sign of the cross and hopes that God has not forgotten him. For now, there is no real rest, no place nor time of respite for the wicked.

The Die Is Cast

When Julius Caesar crossed the River Rubicon with his army, he said the
famous line “Alea iacta est”. Like Caesar, I too have the same kind of
resolve. You have made me cross what figuratively is the river Rubicon
for me. Vince and the others who are now resigned knew from day 1 that I
did not want to be an officer for this organization. And due to this
contrast, I say a-la-Caesar that “the die is cast”->”Alea iacta est.” I
accept and thank management for the challenge you have placed in front
of me. I am afraid, but it does not mean I will sit still and be quiet
about it. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alea_iacta_est)

Though my charge has not been discussed with me due to phone constraints,
I know that there is much work to be done. I pray that I have enough
strength left to finish the last stretch of this assignment. This year
is more than horrendous, heart-breaking and gut-wrenching for me,  than
most of the years I have been here. I guess it is the same for most of
us too. However, beyond these, and despite of these, I want us to keep
on holding on and keep doing our best.

BECAUSE THE FLOWER THAT BLOOMS
IN ADVERSITY, IS THE FLOWER THAT BLOOMS BEST. (Mulan)

This year, and just like the past 15 years, is a test of character for
me, and much it is for most of us. When I go home, if i can go home,I
want our department to re-define itself. Not just in the context of
profitability but more in the context of what it wants to  be, working for
sustained profitability and better working environment. Who we are and
who we will be in the next few years is far more important in the long run.
Sun Tzu Art of War To my gold fishes and power rangers,
you will define our department later on, but for now, trust that binchang,
mayor and now your tatang govz, or voltron, will die trying to make life
better for you.

Enough said, more to be done. I don’t know the future. And whoever said
that you can plot it to a point, does not understand murphy’s law.
(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murphy%27s_law)  I am only one man. この両手でなにができる? I hope one, two and in the remote
probability all of you, believe that there is something good in here
that it is worth rebuilding and re-strengthening,
I hope you stand up when your name will be called upon.

Please believe always in yourselves, this department or otherwise,
that we can do better. For I will always believe in you, and it is for that
faith that Alwyn and I got left behind in Kyoto. And when I come home,
though I am in a diet, I will show you what a tabehodai-bakemono is, a
don-quijote-canon-rock cross breed and the real whale in the Churiumi
aquarium (Not yet to be shown in multiply. :p) . But also, a seasoned
veteran in Research and Development. Let us rebuild by accepting a
culture of winning, and a “can-do” culture. And should we fail, …..
nahhh I would rather not think about that. My best regards to all of you
and to your families. I have to go back to work now. See you all soon
Alabang, and hopefully xxxx. Home is still 3 months away, or otherwise.

PS : If you dont want to follow, I will hit you with reina, my lovely
pink guitar.

PS to the PS : My parents taught me that when we use a room (or a department
for that matter) we try to set it into a good state as far as possible.

A Love Story

“Where is she?”, he thought. He looked frantically at his watch. She was running 15 minutes late for their dinner date. Truth is he is used to her being fashionably late.

The last six months was fascinating for him. He knew he wanted her way more than anything else. And he was the kind of guy who knew what he wanted; He fought for every inch to get what he desired. And she on the other hand was a downright stunner. She had long hair and the deep set black eyes that almost extended into infinity. She had long slender legs and pearly white skin that would make your adrenaline pump just at the mere idea of your skin touching hers. She was way more than an eyecandy.

Truth is he had been longing all his life. Longing for someone who can truly “jerry-maguire’s-complete” him. He had been through so many failed relationships, frustrations and broken dreams. This time, he was sure of it. As he held the diamond ring from tiffany’s, he knew she was all he wanted.

And then one of the restaurant guys opened up the door. It was like an eternity for him, as she stepped into the yellowish light that basked within the posh restaurant. She was wearing the crimson red dress he bought her. His heart skipped, his jaw dropped, and he would have fallen flat out on the floor were it not for the fact that there were so many strangers around watching him.

She was a head turner. Some women from the other tables had to shout to their men, just to make sure they remembered who they were with. She graced the floor like a prima donna in preparation of her great performance. She was a piece of heaven, in this desolate world. She was, as no other words can describe, majestic.

He walked up, like the gentleman that he was, and pulled the chair for her to sit on. He took care of the louis vuiton bag she had with her. He adored her. And she loved him. They kissed, not the torrid kind you would read on harlequin romances. It was just an affectionate short kiss. And everyone’s hearts in the room skipped a beat. They had just seen love bloom, spring into action.

A few moments later, he was preparing for the great proposal. He had already ordered the musicians and the waiters to wait for his cue. Once everything was set, he waived his hand as it was the gesture he promised everyone he would make when he was ready. Then the band took played Kenny Login’s “For the first time ….” in a soft soothing instrumental. The waiters then came up with all the loveliest flowers. Roses, tulips and by-god-knows-what-kind of flowers there were. It was like the yearly US parade of roses. And then there was silence.

“I have loved you, from the very first moment I met you. I have dreamed of you and hoped that you would come. I prayed every day and every night, that someone like you would come for me. I cannot express how much you mean to me and how much I adore you. “, he professed. And as he reached inside his coat’s pocket, for the one ring that would bind them, he felt he was the luckiest man alive. “All these years….”, he thought.

He opened the box, exposing a ring only the gods can afford. And in a kind, gentle, but firm voice he asked, “Will you marry me?” And the girl blushed, and burst into tears. For all the love in the world, she was dumbfounded. She suddenly sat still and fell quiet. Everyone was watching, probably even the lady bugs that were “unseparatable” with the flowers.

She inched her face towards him and gave him a kiss. For him it was a light warm, and gentle kiss  from the lips of an angel.  As their lips parted, she bowed her head and said, “I am so very sorry. I cannot marry you…. <silence>.”. One can almost hear a pin drop in the deafening silence that ensued.

… <silence> …

… <silence> …

… <silence> …

… <silence> …

… <silence> …

… <silence> …

“Lalaki ako!(I am a guy too.)” she said in a loud bellowing voice. And the guy dropped dead, he died of a heart attack.

PS: This my friend, is a love story. Just that it is not my love story It is one of my stupid nightmares. Thanks to alwyn for some story line improvements. Have a great day everyone

Angels

I really want to thank you. For the past few months, in all honesty, my life had been a mess. There wasn’t really any true direction. I guess, it comes with the hopelessness and frustrations that I had been suffering.

You see, ever since the first time I had a chance to talk with you on YM, I knew in one way or another that you were good for me. I was too afraid to meet you actually because I knew back then that I wouldn’t be able to hold back myself. You were very interesting like some kindred spirit I have long looked for. Even back then I felt it was only a matter of time before I realize that you are special. And without any hesitation, now that we have met, I believe you are.

I wanted to thank you. For bearing with me in a very turbulent ride on the plane. I want to thank you for having patience enough to talk with me. I never expected that. I could be a jerk most of the times. I want to thank you for reminding me of the better things in life. Of the things that really mattered. You see, it is with your eyes that I saw what I really wanted, what I have always dreamt of the most. A reminder of sorts that life, in all its complexities, boils down to a few basic necessities. That all we really need is a home, and you, in that very short conversation coupled with all the things said on the internet, guided me there.

With your eyes, I saw simplicity. With your stories, I remembered how fun it was to be home. Carefree because everything was at peace and we are protected. I had been on a very long “circumstantial” adventure, and never have I found, a place where I can just truly be happy. The last time I really had that was like 15 years ago. I had spent half of my life struggling, adventuring. But in your stories about copra and high school, I remembered that all I really wanted was to get back what I had 15 years ago, a place where I can just be truly happy. It seemed, that when I find home once again, it wouldn’t even matter anymore if I became the best engineer, I can possibly make out of myself.

I cant thank you enough for giving me the hope that I needed. I dont even know if we will ever see each other again. As you know, this may also be my last stint in this company. I thank you for giving me hope, that despite of and in spite of all these adversities, I can find a somebody who can cut me through. I thank you for reminding me that there are better things in life, and that I have to be careful because I should be in great condition when I find what I have long looked for.

It pains me so much that I cannot freely express this straight into your eyes. There are some things that need tending too. There had been many times that I wanted to ask you out on a date. There had been many times that I had to stop myself from going near you. Because, there is much too much to fix within me and my immediate circumstance. I dont know, where all these will lead to. All I know is that when I decide on something, I do it.

I cant thank you enough for the effect you have on me. I feel I can get through this adversity now and all the more desire immensely to go back to RP and search for home. How I wish I lived near you so that I can hear your stories everyday and laugh each time you’d joke about not sharing your food. Just kidding. It feels so bad not to be in proximity to you. But for now, I guess it is better this way. When this is all over, and the dusts of confusion settle, I look forward to visiting you. Friends or what-nots, it does not matter. I guess no one would mind if we had one more round of friendly rebuttals.

As I write this, I realize the meaning of what my good college friend and hardware expert Arman called his ex-girlfriend Jolly. He called her “Angel”. Arman and Jolly are now 3 years married. And though I do not have any words for it, I guess that is the closest I can encapsulate the image I have of you. And for all its worth, and for everything that I hold dear, I just want to say thank you very very very much.

What’s up Chuck?

I had been watching episodes of the NBC’s Chuck via the sci-fi channel online (Thanks Phoebs for sharing TVU with us. ). Well I just wanted to recommend it i guess to virtually anyone. Alright I admit, Yvonne Strahovski got me to her feet begging for more but the series itself is so freakin’ universally appealing. My top ten reasons why I like it :

1. Most of the world’s population are geeks to some extent, especially now that most of the people know how Itunes work. (Thanks Apple.) The show somehow gives hope to us geeks that we just might, rule ‘em all.

2. And I guess everyone is pretty much like a spy because we can’t disclose everything to anybody.

3. Chuck’s innocence or naivety is so envious. I mean, he does not know how to fight, he seems to have had no experience of a long term special relationship, and that generally child-like persona is very appealing. In a way, he is a lot like Monk without the OC thingy going on.

4. The babe is HOT HOT HOT… super-hot. And the on-screen quasi-pseudo-real relationship between her and Chuck is something every fan wishes to be real. I guess if that happens, the show might become boring hmmmm. We’ll see.

5. Casey is a jerk but I guess it would be fun to see him join Chuck’s cause and how it will play out once the new intersect is online.

6. It is great and heart-warming to see a brother-sister bond between Elie and Chuck. And Captain Awesome has made that relationship even more highlighted.

7. I hate to see Tang go, he really did it so well but he was really good in making Chuck’s and Morgan’s lives miserable. And his wife was pretty hot too. How the hell did she end up with the bear-of-a-manager Mike anyway?

8. It is not like Desperate Housewives where the plot sometimes revolves too much on the sex lives of HOT old women, but it revolves around how a family-loving decent guy can save his ass and those closest to him from the dangers brought about by his new profession.

9. It is not like Grace Anatomy, which I think revolves too much on what the main characters feel, or what they want to have or special people, like doctors. Chuck revolves around a guy who got kicked out from Stanford, got washed up, now works as a store attendant or nerd-herder, and by a mere stroke of luck ended up as the CIA-NSA intersect.

10. Chuck is universal because in the end of it all it is about how much we want to lead normal happy lives. Sarah and Casey did not and do not have one but it remains a choice for them if they want it. But Chuck lost it because of some old college buddy who got him kicked out of Stanford.

I know “Chuck” will do good for at least one more season. I think there might be a problem if it extends more than that. But I think the writers are apt to that challenge. I hope you all watch “Chuck”, and I hope they don’t change the cast. For me I will watch it on sci-fi channel online as far as I can.

here is a link for y’all. -> http://www.nbc.com/Chuck/

Songs For The Soul

I would just like to write the songs which I have found very powerful. Powerful in a sense that it has either uplifted me in my darkest of times or has made me ease through the tension. I hope you find solace in them or if not, for the very least, relax you and ease you of worry.

Song 1 : Bukas Palad Ministry - Huwag Kang Mangamba
Favorite Line : “Huwag Kang Mangamba, Di ka nag-iisa, sasamahan Kita.”
Why : It feels so good because sometimes, when it is really dark in my life, I just need to remember I am not alone. Especially during these times when nobody really has your back and everybody’s like asking you to carry them through. Thank you Bukas Palad.

Song 2 : Bukas Palad Ministry - One More Gift
Favorite Line : “Grant me serenity, within …”
Why : I guess, the “bestest” thing one can really have is that serenity within, that immovable peace which can be counted on when in dire straits and when character is being tested by a heavy tumultous storm. Thank you again
Bukas Palad.

Song 3 : Disney Hercules Theme (Michael Bolton) - I Can Go The Distance
Favorite Line 1 : “I can go the distance ….”
Favorite Line 2 : “Where a hero’s welcome will be waiting for me ….”
Favorite Line 3 : “And a voice keeps saying, this is where I am meant to be.”
Why : I am a bit displaced right now. And I feel this is not where I should really be. I feel that with some stroke of luck and with a little time, I will eventually find where fate has originally planned me to be in. And I am not giving up until I find that place. Nobody is going to make me. Thanks Disney and Mr. Bolton.

Song 4 : Leah Salonga - Journey
Favorite Line : “What a Journey it has been …”
Why : Someday, it would be great to look back into our lives and say, what a journey it indeed has been. Growing old with grace and gratitude for life, is something I look forward to.

Song 5 : Exile : 君がいるから
Favorite Line 1: “僕の心の闇は、いつか光に変わってゆく”
Favorite Line 2: “今君がそばにいるから…”
Why : Someday I too wish all these pain, frustration, and darkness, will turn into light. And that though there will be further disappointments, the presence of a beloved soul nearby will undoubtedly hasten the healing or better yet, give you enough strength to get through it all.

Song 6 : Guns N Roses : “Patience”
Favorite Line : Whistling part
Why : It just reminds me of my days during high school when things were aren’t so complicated and you dont have the burden to push that hard for everyone to have breathing space.

Song 7 : Harem Scarem : “Honestly (Acoustic)”
Favorite line : Guitar Rift Intro and Pluck
Why : You should listen to it to understand what I mean.

Song 8 : SMAP : “Dear Woman”
Favorite Line : “とびきりの運命 … “
Why : Well, if you indeed find the lady you have looked for, in your entire life, aren’t you one lucky SOB. hahhahaha just kidding. Truth is, it is really a wonderful twist of fate, for one to meet his or her other half.

Song 9 : EraserHeads : “Poor Man’s Grave”
Favorite Line : Base Line at Intro
Why : It reminds me a lot of my early college days and a very special event in my life. Plus the base line really carries the entire song, and the lyrics is also pretty well done.

Song 10 : Brian McKnight : “Win”
Favorite Line : “You see I promised myself that I’ll never let me down …”
Why : The entire song is basically how I want to live my life. A wonderful ballad of about an indomitable spirit, a tour de force. Someday, I want my life to reflect this song’s core meaning.

I hope you guys get to listen to them and enjoy them. I ain’t much of a hard rock / punk / disco freak anymore. I like it slow and easy. A great day to yah all.

Where The Heart Wants To Be

The heart wants to be, where the sky is clear
where the fresh cool breeze gently soothes the soul.
The heart wants to be, where the green, vibrant stalks of life
swing gently, gracefully with the wind.

It yearns to hear, the sounds of birds,
singing gleefully atop the majestic trees.
The heart yearns to rest peacefully,
under a shade in the morning sun, just after the twilight at dawn.

Where the heart can smell the fragrance of peace,
And the soul oozes off tension and fear, slowly, effortlessly.
Where the heart can be light,
Because there is no pretense, no restraint, no deceit.

The heart wishes to see,
joy brimming in the eyes of the children.
It wishes to witness the innocence in their ways,
And experience once again how it was when the world was simple.

Where it can lay to rest all its worries,
Where it can cast away its fears,
Where it can find serenity, serendipity
And where it can breathe fresh air once again.

Where nobody has to go, temporarily nor permanently
Where understanding is achieved by a mere flick of a finger
And arguments are constrained to no more than an iota of time.
Where time passes, yet the added years matter not.

Where truths can be spoken without prejudice nor malice
Where the heart can truly be free.
Where the pains can be replaced with glory,
And the defeats into meaningful memories.

There is such a place,
albeit that it exists but for a fraction of time
And when you are in that place, take all the time you have,
To experience and remember it well.

For that is where the heart will always want to be…

PS : One of my pathetic attempts to literary freedom :)  bwhahahahahah i hope u enjoyed it

お酒、何で強いの？

先々週、他の会社員と一緒に、京都の店へ飲みに行きました。本当にお酒をたくさん飲みました。酔っぱらった。”失敗したな！”と思っていたんですけど、しょうがないか？実は、最近お酒をあまり飲んでいなかった。去年の方は、しばしばAlwyn,と一緒にアパートの近くの店で、ビルを飲みにいきました。今でも、何回に飲んでも、お酒の神秘をまだ発見しなかった。

なぜ、お酒を飲んだら、嬉しくなるの？何で自身があがるね？そして、なんでその時に僕の日本語が完璧そうになるの？本当に知りたいんですけど、取り合えず、もう少しその状態ままでするつもりです。多分、その飲み物に、”happy happy particles”があると思います。すっぱり分からない。

でもね、お酒を飲む時に、僕は、煩いけど、”happy happy”になる。知らない人は、その時に、知り合いになるよう！変だね、危ないと思っています。酔っぱらいなら、声も、ちょっと美しくなるね？。京都で、日本に着いた時から、今まで、だいたい５０回以上、バーへ飲みにいきました。値段は、ちょっと高いけど、Mental Stabilityが大事ので、バーで飲んだら、凄くHAPPYになるよう。詳細仕様書や基本仕様書など、バーにいるなら、ぜんぜん忘れる。

日本のバーは、色々種類があるよう。あるバーは、Westernのバーです。英語の音楽を演奏する。ときどき、英語の映画も発表します。もう一つのタイプは、えっと、Serious Barですね。Serious Barと言うのは、長いカウンターテーブルがある小さい店。そのテーブルで、皆が集めて、本気にお酒を飲みます。何も言ってない。Serious Barは、あまり好きじゃないです。もう一つのバータイプを記載したいんですけど、怪しい所なんで、あなた方によって発見されて欲しい。

お酒は、大好きじゃないですけど、外人が寂しくしないように、必要だと思っています。今週の金曜日、大阪へ飲みに行きます。カラオケをしたいな。そして、もう一度、お酒の神秘を発見してみます。乾杯！！！

** We will have an internal exam in the coming weeks. I hope my stupid practice here helps bwahhahahahaha :). The sake will definitely help though.

The Atlantean, in the shadows of Olympus

The Atlantean bound himself with chains. Chains which he himself do not have the strength to break. All of Greece throw stones at him, because he has been tagged selfish for his nonchalant approach on the matters at hand. They persecute, ridicule and insult him for his silence, his stolidity over the circumstance around.

The non-omnipotent Atlantean, silently endures for what he thinks is right. He has seen what the God’s can do to beings of less, beings of a more unrefined approach. The Atlantean silently sacrifices everything, including ascension and equity, in a final chess match with the Gods. His resolve is unwavering, it is only a matter of time. How long will it take for the Gods to realize that without the Greeks and the Atlanteans, Olympus is nothing but an illusion?

The Gods reach out for the Atlantean, the Atlantean recognizes it, but he cannot beleive easily that it is for real. The Atlantean, holds on to his chains, for those who do not understand the underlying current. In the Atlantean’s eyes, the gods have violated time-tested principles and have in a way utilized lack of cognition on the part of the Greeks. The Atlantean has within him an opportunity to ascend, but ascension means nothing when the parapets are made of clay and the soul is inebriated with pretense.

His scars and wounds run deep and dark as the Styx. Yet the fire in his eyes flash brightly. A melancholic mixture of pain, anger, compassion and fiery drive.Truly, history is for the mortals, because the Gods have forgotten the past. They have forgotten that which has spurned the bloodshot in his eyes. He does not choose to let go of the memories, he cannot allow himself to be a part of a tribunal that does not hold dear that which he treasures.

The Atlantean became strong because of his desire to be strong, through the opportunities granted by a foreign feudal lord. When the Gods tore him up, he still chose to be strong. They have castigated him for sins not of his making. They have declared him incapable so many times. They have transferred his winnings to their favorite demi-Gods. And most painful of all, was that they have struck him a fatal blow of betrayal. And now that their favorite demi-Gods are gone, they seek him, the Atlantean.

The Atlantean smiles on the reversal of fortune. He knows that his strength lies within those chains and in a methodical sense of awareness. The friendly game of chess starts soon. He gains right to moral high ground for as long as those chains are bound intact. His awareness tells him that the time for the Olympians to dance with their destiny is coming. The Olympian’s ideology has to change, to save itself from an imminent doom whose shadows already tower on one of Olympus’s founding cities. The time of reckoning has come and it is only a matter of time before he can break free from the chains and get out of Olympus’ rule.

Though afraid of an immediate future, he suffers patiently. He feels it in his veins that the Gods will be punished for not setting things right from the very start. But by virtue of a celestial rule, the Atlantean will be charged of fixing that which the Gods have broken. The Gods cannot fix it because they have forgotten, what makes the Atlantean an Atlantean. The Gods have lavished with too much Ambrosia.

There will be no fight, no war. The Atlantean is not interested in such. And though in agony, he does not wish further pain for anyone. However, he dreams of the day when the Olympians start remembering how it was to be a lowly Greek. And that abiding by time-tested principles will always be boon to Olympus. The Atlantean seeks change within Olympus, a change that he thinks must be orchestrated by the Gods. As for him, he has decided to seek Atlantis and serve Atlantean Gods.If not, Anubis, or the one they call Christ might be a better God for him. Olympus is no place for him.

And only time will tell whether he can truly ascend or end up in the darkest pits of Tartarus.

Today’s Prayer On Fatigue

Hello God. How are you today? Hahahaha I think you are already sick and tired of all the complaints you hear. I guess it is that difficult for us humans to understand your greater scheme of things.

Today, a great opportunity has been granted to me. You and I both know what I am talking about. And I am very happy that once again I will try and reach for the stars, my stars.

However, though I am overjoyed, I feel that I am very very tired. Exhausted, as you may say. I know you know what I do, and how long it takes for me to execute them, personal-wise and professional-wise. I know that though I dont fully comprehend your will, I know you wanted me back here in JP, one more time. I know that you know that as far as inspiration and motivations are concerned, you are the only inspiration I have. Consecutive failures in both personal and professional fronts, have made me a firm believer, that only you are the CONSTANT  MOTIVATION.

For whatever your will is, I dont complain. Well I guess, that is for today, I won’t. But today and for everyday that comes from hereon, as much as you have done from the very moment of my conception, I ask for your strength and wisdom. Your strength to bear all these trials and most of all control my pride when I succeed. Your wisdom to judge the best way towards your goal. Your wisdom to be compassionate to those who cannot be as strong as I am. Your wisdom to accept and bear the pains inflicted on me by those stronger than I am and to hold myself back from giving the same fury to my juniors. Your wisdom to know when it is already beyond what is healthy.

I know you see my life’s ending as you have seen my birth. I just hope that what you see, is what you like. I hope that right now, right here, this path is one of the paths you see will be good for me.

The pain is unbearable, the fatigue is beyond imagination to some extent, but the joy of serving man, corporate or other wise, for your greater glory is so enticing that I cannot dare to raise my hands up, in submission. I hope someday, within my circle of influence, especially to those who don’t believe in you, they see you in me.

And for all the pains and sufferings, the joys and triumphs, the dull and lull times, I offer all of them to you. Today, and for as long as you allow me to, and for as long as my freewill is in parallel to your will, let my actions, demeanor, execution, and wholistic presence bear some semblance of your magnificence.

To You, who bear truth and salvation, I submit, at least for today, my will.