At 31, I feel a lot older. And when I say a lot, it means a whole lot. Today, I profess and re-profess my unending desire to be a giant. Or at least die trying. I re-declare that even if I look like a fool to my counterparts, a liar, a diminutive figure or some 2 bit riff-raff, I will not stop trying.
I want to be a giant. I am sick and tired of working, creating and developing solutions for a generally don’t-care-somebody who develops something for somebody. I am sick and tired of such feeling. Nor do I cherish the idea that I will be developing and pursuing creative interest for people who do not value people. And the very day I step out of these chains, is the very day I intend to execute my plan.
This path, though less traveled, is something I want to follow. The probability of living single all throughout my life and being persecuted for not having bigger “bucks”, will take much time to swallow, but it is something I can accept over time. Monty and Rocky will live on with whatever legacy their roots leave them with.
I want to create things and partner with Filipino giants within the industry hopefully to make that dream come true. Or I can work for / work with companies that cater to the idea of “IdeaFarming” which my old mentor Ramon Canumay Jr. has instilled within me. Companies that won’t take everything from you but will have a way of “partnering” with you. Or companies which value employees on a more-than-average scale with well-thought-of corporate solutions. I want to die leaving behind some trace that all I have learned has not gone to waste, that the teachings of my mentors have not gone to waste.
I am afraid of failure, but it is in fear that courage is realized. I might fail but in the end of it all, we all will die anyway. And the “good oft interred with the bones” mentality will always be a looming banner, but I will never hesitate to challenge. We all would only live once anyway.
I am old and I am losing time, my most precious resource. But the thing is, I look forward to creating new ideas the very first day I can. And while waiting for that day, make use of my opportunity to be stronger and fundamentally wise.
No way in hell however that I will ever underestimate any professional endeavour for food on the table and for a better family life. Be it, an outsourced, outsourced-outsourced, outsourced-outsourced-outsourced engineering job, for as long as an individual meets his dreams of “happyness”. I too might opt that someday. But as of now, as of this very moment, I am opting a different path, a path with less than 0.001% success rate. As for failure, it has not come yet, i will face it when it stares right into my face.
I feel very very very good. It is again for a very long time, as far as my life is concerned, winning time.